Hello, my love!

Hello my love,

I know you are the kind of person who does not like to show your feelings inside. That's why I rarely received any letters from you throughout all these years. Now I am no longer able to chase you around and make you verbally say that you love me. That's a huge huge loss for me. I was desperate to dig out any words from you on paper tonight... because I miss you so much. Then I found a card from you. It was written on the Valentine's Day in 2006. I am typing it up here.

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Dear Andy,

This is our first Valentine's Day after we got married. I feel I am such a lucky person to be able to be with you for the rest of my life. I am a better & happier person when I have you around. Love you - my dear. We are/will be happy together forever.

Beth   2006. 2. 14.

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I have not been able to hear from you for over a month. Finally, after finding this letter, I heard your voice one more time. Thank you, my dear. It is 七夕 today. I always said, all gifts I want for birthdays or holidays is being with you. I start to realize this is not a small wish. I always believed (yes, I use past tense) that if we pay attention to all small things in our lives, we can bring joy 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. So life is simple that way, just being attentive. However, I see that life has both sides now... I mean, really... two sides. I can still be attentive, alert to the color, pattern, season, event... but joy may not be there, and the life does not seem to be simple at all since you left. I wonder... I wonder tonight

Am I with you tonight?


Love you,

Andy
2011, 8. 6.

James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover

【Goodbye my lover】
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.