You Raise Me Up

今天情緒特別的低落。我試著去想:「為什麼?」 我猜,應該是因為我在家裡的信箱裡,找到了一張 Ann Taylor 寄來,給Beth的美金20元折價券。

我彷彿看到了
Beth開心地拿著折價券,對我撒嬌:「這週末去看看嗎?」,附帶一臉笑容,讓我沒有說不的心情。

我可以看見
當我領著她去店裡,她那專注尋找衣服的樣子。她拿滿兩手,要我別走遠,等她一件件穿給我看的神態。

我好像看見了
她結完帳,我順手接過袋子,她牽著我手,滿足地走出店裡的步伐。




但這一切,都不存在了,只是我的想像



我感到刺痛,拿著這張小小的折價券,上面寫著Beth的名字,我的眼淚止不住

整個晚上,都失魂落魄
今晚原本計畫要寫謝卡給這些日子以來幫忙的眾人

但我只想哭

昨晚,一直睡不著,不斷想到一首歌

You Raise Me Up


歌詞是這樣的

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.



這幾個夜晚,都很難入眠
我覺得,憂鬱確實不停往心裡襲來
以前快快樂樂哼唱的曲子,現在聽來,都是悲傷

這些年來,一直維持著以照相做日記的習慣
Beth的最後一晚,與我在待產室,因為陣痛,她哭了
我替她照了一張相



老婆，妳看見了嗎？妳的這張相... 我們說好一起回味的


Andy
July 21, 2011